Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
