I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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