i'm signing you up for texting rehab
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
