Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
