so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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