I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
