this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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