At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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