he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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