I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
