yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
