I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
