I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
