i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her vagine was all disorganized.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
