We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
