i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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