Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
