how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
