mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
