what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
