Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
