Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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