This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it hurts more in the daytime
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
