I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
