If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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