his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
