She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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