So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
