I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
