When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
wow bdsm is so cute
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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