Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
