Screwed.edu
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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