The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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