I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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