Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
