she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
