My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
