FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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