so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
