he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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