so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
