I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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