You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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