Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
