"it" just moved
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
