I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My pussy is not your playground.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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