the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
