were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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