i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
