dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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