you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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